my life at Camp High Achievers has ended.

3 - 5 December 09 marks my last camp. ironically, this last camp was not as fulfilling nor 'exciting' as i had once imagined it to be, but still, it was a small cosy camp, and having such small cosy camps may have turned out to be a good thing (because knowing me, if it was the former, i would have probably cried my eyes out by the time campfire ended).

even though the students/audience wasn't what i had hoped it would be, what more can i ask for than to have some of my closest instructors with me for my last campfire? i only had TWO groups for this camp, but the number of instructors who came down for the campfire (and some who came down after the campfire) formed my group #3.

yesterday evening, right after the last activity for the afternoon, i decided to go for a walk by myself around jbac, taking in the sights, sounds and scenery that have been so familiar to me for the last 3 years but will, from now on, become memories to me. imagining the familiar silhouettes of EFIs launching students down the abseil/zipline tower, the CRC area where it always look so crowded (but for this camp, everything was so....empty), the kayak shed where it's filled with kayaks/barrels, the campfire pit area where i did the clean-up of the pit area for the last time (which has been flooded with water everytime it rains). and for the first time, i saw instructors coming down to help to clean the campfire area, and watching them having so much fun cleaning the pit area really tickles me because it has always been something that everyone doesn't like to do. =P

during campfire, i made mental snapshots of the fire pit, the fire burning right in front of me while i conducted the campfire, instructors sabo-ing each other during intervals. i was quite strong and was this close to crying from the instructors' performance onwards as i sat amongst the students and watched the instructors do their favourite 'Xi Shua Shua' and knowing that this was the last time i was going to see it done during campfire.

sitting where the students were sitting, looking at the instructors dancing and the fire burning in front -- the memories of the past 3 years came flashing through my mind as i looked at each and every one of the instructors dancing in front of me and all the different camps that i've had with them that were fond memories - from the very first batch of instructors who came in with me right till the newest batch of instructors.

and what really clawed at my heart was during the finale 'Para Para' when i looked beside and behind me the instructors of the recent, and in front seated at the stairs the old batch of instructors whom have stopped doing camps, the trainers who have taught me so much and whom i've grown so attached to over the last 3 years, doing the dance while seated down, and i felt as though everything was playing like a movie in front of my eyes, in time, and saw for myself the years that i've spent here with these amazing people.

as the song "Hero" goes,

because these were the exact same words that i wanted to tell all instructors whom i've worked with:
that there's a hero in each and every one of you. be strong, remember what you are doing camps for and don't let any other things hinder/affect you even though the road ahead may be difficult.

i think the most heartwarming and touching thing for me last night was :-

- all these people there at my last camp with me, relieving all the memories we have shared together.

i just received a video CD of the leadership camp conducted for ChongBoonSec from the teacher - she even delivered the CD to my house. touched =)

it's really the best present (and souvenir) that i've received in the last 3 years of my career as a trainer.
and how apt, considering that it's my second last camp - and the last camp is not really a camp because of the program and audience =( i'd rather much have ended with ChongBoon.

***

what an irony though.

ChongBoon was the camp that gave me the best memories, yet it was also the camp that kinda ended it all.

the ironies of life.

my eyes have been rather irritated recently - either dry or itchy at the corners. is it because i've been staring too much at the computer screen lately? *sigh* but i don't really have a choice, considering that i need to settle all the other back-end matters and staring at Excel sheets are part and parcel of that =\

i get tired very easily too, by 11.30pm i'll be quite zonked out and mentally tired but not physically tired. that's really the sucky part because your mind is so tired but your body is not tired, so you don't even get the rest that you need. ARGH.

tell me, how am i going to survive the rest of the next 2 months like that? =\

***

i had a really weird dream last night. the kind of dream that you wake up wondering, "ohmygawd. that was f**king real." and still vividly remember the exact feeling and emotion you had while having that dream. worst thing is, you end up having that slightly knotty feeling deep down inside the entire day, asking yourself, "why the heck did i have that dream?" and ponders if the dream could be a sign that is meant to tell you something (or not - you know what they always say about "dreams being the opposite of reality").

the suckiest part is when the dream starts to make you think - A LOT - when you already told yourself that you're not going to think or read too much into anything and just let things be the way it is.

ROARS.

i am SOOOOOO going back to Orlando next year!!!!!!

http://www.universalorlando.com/harrypotter/index.html?__source=email.hp.ap.9152009

*faints*

i've been waiting for this to materialize and take place since 2005, after punky Fu and myself just came back from Orlando and realized that they were building a HARRY POTTER WORLD in UNIVERSAL STUDIOS ORLANDO. we saw the Harry Potter train there and already went somewhat mad and crazy - can you imagine us being IN Hogsmeade, IN Hogwards Castle?!?!?

i can't. because the thought of it just makes me SUPERDUPERFREAKING EXCITED!!!!

time to start planning the trip to Orlando....

*p/s: that punk better wanna go =( she told me a few years ago that when it's up, we will revisit Orlando again and go together. but now with a monkey by her side....... ROARS!!!!

i am SERIOUSLY hooked onto 败犬女王.

i finished watching the remaining 5 episodes in a day.

and 阮经天 is ;) my eye-candy for the week, probably even the month of September =)

i've never been a fan of Channel 8 drama serials, and haven't been watching much of them ever since a-thing-called-cable came into my residences. i heard this song on the radio every day, and the lyrics and melody drew my attention to it, and i never knew that it was the theme song of one of the Channel 8 serials. well, i guess m*diac**p knows how to use good songs hahah.

anyways, here is the lyrics of this song which is my current favorite - thought that the lyrics suits me to a tee. =)

it's been some time since i have ended my week on such a happy note.

and it's all thanks to these two boys:



Brien & Hughes Tong -- the two youngest boys in SCC's camp, but the two cutest boys there as well that touched the hearts of me and all my instructors =))

why they made my week?
because they remembered the camp, would like to come for the next one during the next school holidays and are still doing the "hungry cheer"!!

who wouldn't like them, u say? =))

spent saturday night from 5-11pm in office doing work - ALONE. sometimes i wonder why am i doing all these, and if it's all worth it... *sigh*

and to make things worse, i was trying to find days to take off yesterday and realized that i may have (yet again) wasted a few more days of my off. not because i don't want to or forgot to take off, but purely because there is absolutely no chance or time for me to take off!

everytime i want to take off, there is always some important meetings that i have to postpone my offs.
if not it would be because that week i have camp(s) and need to prepare for them.
and all these just adds up to wasted off days.

all these non-stop camps, week in week out, and unable to take the days off at the end of the 3 months deadline - currently i really feel super duper indignant about it. made an appeal, and will "discuss further" tomorrow with my team leader to extend some of my off-days deadlines.

if not, seriously, i really think it's NOT FAIR. especially when i've been slogging my arse off since Feb every week and not being able to take the rightful privileges i have. NOT FAIR AT ALL.

honestly, sometimes i wonder: "who appreciates all the hard work that i put in? who appreciates the fact that i give my all every week at camps, week in week out? i doubt anyone does, especially when my OFFS are going to be forfeited because i am at camps, working."

this feeling sucks.

i'm so happppy for my cousins!!! both of them did well for their exams, and indeed, miracles DO happen. =)

Andre's results
English: 61
Chinese: 55
Maths: 57
Science: 55
History: 71 (it's a good choice that he decided to stick with history - i never got that kinda results with History =P)
POA: 61
F&B: 71
Class position: 16 / 35
Level position: 71 / 123

and *drumrolls please* for the pleasantly shocking one...

Kiara's results
English: 70
Chinese: 50 (at least she passed... i was sooo sure that she was going to fail because of the tuition the night before. nearly killed me)
Maths: 66
Science: 55
Geograhy: 50
History: 64
Literature: 57
D&T: 82
Art: 59
Class position: 2 / 39 (this is the one that made me very very happy and surprised, and extremely proud of her =) )
Level position: 6 / 77

kinda weird that both nuts seem to be doing much better in secondary school than in primary school. for the girl, i think it helps that she went into Normal Academic too, because of the slower pace and probably that's why she's able to adapt and cope better? even though during tuition, there didn't seem to be much hope - in fact, things looked rather bleak, especially for her Chinese - i guess everything went well eventually. and i guess that's the most important thing : for her to do well ultimately for the exams.

just gonna keep my fingers crossed that this will keep up... and i guess it is a booster for her because everyone's praising her and i can sense that she likes that feeling rather than always having to be told, "never mind, next time try harder." =)

as for the boy, i've never had much problems with him even back in primary school because he is quite disciplined when it comes to such matters. guess it's the maturity level, and topping up with the fact that he's a student councillor and volleyball captain, i think he's juggling work quite well =)

加油，梅伟伦 & 梅静雯 ! =)